Birth, motherhood

What do you mean you didn’t get an epidural?

 

I am at that age, 29 years old. The majority of my friends are trying to get pregnant, pregnant or just recently had a baby or two. So, as women do, we talk. A lot of the currently pregnant or recently pregnant women have asked me about my labour and delivery. I shared my story, as I did here, but they wanted to know how. So here are the ins and outs of how I managed an unmedicated birth.

Now I am not by any means suggesting I did it the ‘right’ way. Or that these strategies will work for you. It was just really important for ME to try my best to have an unmedicated birth, ideally at home. If you chose to schedule a c-section, or get an epidural the second the first contraction hits, or give birth in the forest with deer and bunnies, the more power to you! As long as it is what is right for you and your baby.

I remember my close friend getting pregnant a few years ago. Well before I had even considered the idea of having a baby. She was telling me all about how she was planning to have an unmedicated birth and all the preparation she was doing.

I thought she was absolutely insane.

I was fresh off a labour and delivery placement in nursing school and seeing what those women went through made me cringe at the thought of feeling aaaallllll of that.

Then I got pregnant and my perspective completely changed. All of a sudden it wasn’t about me, it was about this child, and what I felt would be best to bring him into this world. I did research, watched documentaries, found a midwife, fell in LOVE with Ina May Gaskin and watched Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin & The Farm Midwives over and over and even made my husband watch it too.

I think having the right mindset was key. You have to believe you can do it in order to be able to. I’ve been an athlete in one form or another my whole life so that was something I could relate to. I decided to approach labour like an athletic event, like a marathon or climbing a mountain. I tailored my workouts at the end to be like labour training. I’d do one minute on, one minute off of different exercises to prepare myself mentally for the work of continuous contractions every two minutes. I used positive self-talk and told myself over and over again that I can do this. One of the biggest things that I found helped me was doing some research on Hypnobirthing and watching relaxation videos.

When the time came for me to actually be in labour I was excited! I was not scared at all, I saw it as a goal for me to challenge, not as something I needed to survive. I felt every contraction as work towards my baby coming earthside. I knew the stronger the contractions the sooner I’d get to meet my baby, so as they got stronger and closer together, I got more energized and excited. I felt like I was working with my body, not against it. Allowing it to do the work it needed to do.

When my midwife arrived in the middle of the night and checked me, she was so surprised to find I was already 7cm dilated, as I was still smiling and chatting in between contractions. I watched an entire season of friends and laughed and joked.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all sunshine and lollipops and rainbows. Pushing was, let’s just say, not the funnest thing I’ve ever done. At first it was great, it felt like a relief to finally be able to push with the contractions. I felt like I was actively doing something to help my baby arrive.

That was until my pubic bone began to separate.

That’s where the real work, the mental grit, came into play. It was hard. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. This part of my labour was all a bit of a blur, but my husband tells me there was a lot of screaming and swearing and definitely a few F-bombs were dropped. This is where I think being a homebirth made the difference between me staying with my unmedicated plan, versus taking something for the pain. It simply wasn’t an option. I didn’t think about it, it wasn’t offered, it wasn’t an issue. It wasn’t until I was 2 1/2 hours into pushing and just physically and mentally exhausted that the idea of maybe trying to go to the hospital for some help was even brought up.

Once we got to the hospital, we tried to use the gas, but for whatever reason we couldn’t get it to work. And at that point, I wasn’t even having the same pain that I was having at home. Baby’s head had slipped past my pubic bone and we were in the home stretch, so we didn’t even worry about it.

I truly believe that the key’s to making it through were having a midwife and attempting a homebirth. I was so much more relaxed, I knew my midwife very well by the time it came to deliver so I was very comfortable around her. I went into it with the right mindset and a positive attitude. Even though women tried to discourage me with comments like ‘oh just you wait’ and ‘the pain is real’ I wasn’t phased. I knew I could do it, and I did.

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