Pregnancy, Prolapse

Pregnancy After Prolapse Series – Am I Ready?

This series of blog posts will follow my journey after healing my prolapse from my first birth, into my second pregnancy and beyond!

After I was diagnosed with my prolapse at 8 months postpartum with Nugget, I was devastated (you can read about that here). I thought my life was over and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be prepared, physically, for another pregnancy and birth. I was terrified of picking up my baby out of the crib, never mind growing a second one!

Then I went to pelvic floor physiotherapy, and subsequently healed my prolapse. Then came rewiring my brain to actually accepting the thought that, maybe, I can have another baby. I mean, ever since I decided that kids were in the cards, I knew I wanted a lot of them! Like, 3 or even 4!

Before I was discharged from physio, I made sure to ask her thoughts on pregnancy, birth and postpartum. She had zero concerns with me getting pregnant again, gave me some great advice for labour and suggested I come back in for a check up at 6 weeks postpartum.

So, I had the go ahead from the professionals I trusted, but was I ready? Emotionally, I was SO ready. When I was pregnant with Nugget, my plan was to have him, then start trying for number 2 at 8 months postpartum, so they could be super close in age. Well, obviously, that didn’t happen. My husband wasn’t quite as antsy as I was to have babies right on top of each other, and I was still nervous about my body. I had felt betrayed and needed to learn to trust it again before taking on the challenge of pregnancy.

So I focused on getting strong. I started a new workout program, committed to working out every 2-3 days and for probably 2-3 months I stuck to it. I loved it. I was so happy with how my body felt, how my clothes fit, and how I felt in general. My body finally felt strong again. All of my muscles had blossomed, my core felt so supportive, and I was finally feeling like myself again.

I was ready. My body felt ready. My husband was ready.

It was time.

It took 9 months to conceive Nugget, so even though I was ready to start trying, I had absolutely no expectations for it to happen anytime soon. I was okay with that, prepared for a long road ahead.

Still, I did all the things. I peed on sticks. I took prenatal vitamins. I tracked my basal body temperature. I even tracked my mucous.

But even then, with perfect timing, most couples only have a chance of conception of 20% for any given cycle. Like I said, prepared for a long road.

We didn’t want to put our life on hold to have another baby, so we kept living it. We used the hot tub, we drank our fair share of wine, beer and coffee, we didn’t change our diet or exercise regimes. We just lived our lives.

I was so prepared for it take months to happen. After all, it had the first time, and nothing had changed in that department, as far as we knew, besides being a couple years older.

And then, two months in, it happened.

The line turned pink. The stick flashed ‘pregnant’.

Next thing we knew, we were preparing to be the parents of two under two.

{to be continued}

Pregnancy After Prolapse

 

Birth, pelvic health, postpartum, Prolapse

How I Healed my Prolapse (Part 3)

Continued from Part 1 & Part 2

After seeing Kristen, I felt so much better. I wasn’t worried about picking up and carrying Nugget around, I wasn’t worried about carrying laundry up from the basement or hauling in groceries. I was able to actually live my life.

I started doing the ab work Kristen suggested, and I was absolutely astounded at how effective they were! Who knew such tiny movements like lifting your foot off the ground could have such a dramatic effect. The first day I did the exercise for a total of 6 reps. I know, barely anything, but I wasn’t able to maintain proper technique after 6 so I stopped. The next day I was blown away by how sore I was. We went grocery shopping and I was waddling around like I was 9 months pregnant because my TA was so sore! It was a total lightbulb moment for me. It made me realize just how much your TA functions in supporting your pelvis and trunk through every day movements, like walking! It made me understand further how diastasis recti can influence your movement and why it is so important to keep it in check if you have one.

I did the PF progressions she suggested. I was surprised to hear she suggested going PF contractions with a full bladder, but if you think about it, that’s like an internal load on your PF, and it’s like adding plates to the barbell! I was able to get even more in tune with my body, and really feel how and when my PF was contracting and monitor the forces at work.

I went back to see Kristen a month after our initial appointment feeling great. I informed her that a lot of my symptoms had subsided and other were explainable by reasons besides prolapse. She laughed “well you can go home now!” she said, jokingly, but I probably could have. She reassesed my abs, alignment and PF. After she was all done she said “Well you’re boring! There isn’t much going on here! Your PF is strong and contracting reactively and is well coordinated with your TA. Your anterior wall is ‘stretchy’ but I wouldn’t say you have a prolapse!”

I wanted to cry, again. But this time tears of joy.

But I hesitated. I was worried. Nugget was my first baby and I definitely had plans of having more, and hopefully sooner rather than later. So I asked Kristen what to do. I was nervous another labour and birth would do even more damage. Should I come see her in pregnancy? How does she recommend labouring and pushing from the perspective of a PT? Can I prevent prolapse with future babies?

So many questions.

We had a lengthy discussion about labour, pushing and delivery. It was so nice to talk to someone openly about birth who was about the function and physiology of the female body, and she gave me tools to go into my next pregnancy & birth feeling strong and confident.

And that’s how I want you to feel. Strong & Confident

Not broken, or fragile, or sad or depressed.

Strong.

We are all strong, we just need to see it within ourselves.

Now if you have read this series of blogs, hoping for a how-to list of things to do to heal your prolapse, I am sorry that I didn’t deliver.

However, I will give you this one To Do.

Find a pelvic floor physiotherapist. A good one. One that supports your goals and lifestyle. Not all physios are as open and supportive as Kristen, and you don’t have to accept that. If your physio refuses to give you progressions, or only tells you your options are to swim and walk, never lift anything over 5lbs (that’s realistic) and never spread your feet wider than hip width, find a new physio. There are good ones out there. If you don’t leave your appointment feeling confident you know how to live your life without fear and anxiety, you need a new physio. They should support your goals, not crush them.

 

how-i-1

Birth, fitness, pelvic health, postpartum, Prolapse

How I Healed my Prolapse (Part 2)

Continued from this post.

Luckily, I was able to score a cancellation with Kristen, otherwise I would have to wait months agonizing over my broken body. I was able to get in to see her two days later.

Now, I have never met a physio I didn’t like (true story), but there was something about Kristen. We just clicked. Our personalities were totally in sync and we had the same values and beliefs. She started the session by reassuring me, she could tell I was nervous. She said she knew many, many women who had a similar diagnosis to mine, and who live complete and normal lives, that I shouldn’t let this hold me back.

She assessed my alignment, my musculature, had me squat and stand while feeling my back and sides to assess how my muscles engaged. She had me lay down and assessed my abs and glutes, and informed me that my transverse abs aren’t as strong or coordinated as I thought, but gave me exact steps how to correct them.

She then did an internal exam (which I describe for you here), which I was most worried about. You see, the physician who had diagnosed me with prolapse had informed me that my pelvic floor (PF) muscles were extremely weak. She had rated them 1.5 on a scale of 5. She described it as barely perceptible with no endurance. The problem I had with that assessment is she didn’t allow me to coordinate my contraction with my breath, it was more “aaaand GO! NOW!” and I was a bit caught off guard. When Kristen assessed my strength, she allowed me to exhale with the contraction and take my time. She almost laughed when I told her the doctor told me my PF was weak, she rated me at a 4 out of 5!

I left the appointment feeling so much better, relieved that my PF wasn’t weak, and looking forward to moving on with my life. I booked another appointment for a month out, just to follow up with the ab work she gave me and the PF progressions she had suggested. Kristen encouraged me to call her with any questions, and unlike some professionals you speak to, with her I knew she really meant it.

The next day I had a thought. She never gave me any limitations for movement or exercise? Everything I have ever read online about prolapse is a list of don’ts. So I sent her an email, and fully expected it to take a week or two to hear from her, if at all. A few days later, she phoned me at home. The first thing she said was, stop Googling. She doesn’t consider postpartum prolapse in the same category as post-menopausal prolapse because there is so much at play postpartum. Your body has so much healing to do, and especially if you are breastfeeding, that can take a really long time, and to be patient. She told me to not limit myself at all because I have a strong PF and to trust myself, use good form and breathing and listen to my body. She suggested I do what I would normally, ease back into things, and if something exacerbates my symptoms, to maybe back off a bit next time. She didn’t see the value in restricting a young mother like myself.

This was the best thing I could hear. Instantly vanished any fear I had about carrying Nugget around, about doing daily activities, going for long hikes, or getting back into weight lifting.

I was happy again.

~Stay tuned for my progress with the exercises Kristen gave me, and how our next visit went and what she told me~

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